Today

^^ Could my "selfie" be any more tacky? My hair is like Bruno Mars ^^



^^ So this happened. Again. For the fourth time. Why? I don't know.
I am desperately attempting to cling to my youth. #Fail. ^^

Lest I lead any of my four readers to believe that I have my shite together I will tell you what a disaster today was.
Doesn't that sound compelling? And uplifting?
I peeled myself out of bed at 7:30, rushed Ryan out the door to school, set the boys up with Cocoa Puffs and Sesame Street and went back to bed.
I kept drifting in and out of sleep ALL MORNING because I was being a lazy, piece of crap.
I dreamt that I was dating a 21-year-old man-child.
It was awful.
I finally emerged from my room with only one hour to get Ezra dressed and onto the bus, half-heartedly (< I am pretty sure that isn't a word) do a Jillian Michaels workout, shower, dress the baby, and race over to a preschool interview for Micah, since he is a maniac and I am attempting to start school in the fall.
Blah.
Since then I have sat around feeling sorry for myself and eaten my weight in chocolate-covered coconut.
I am super productive.
And definitely moving forward.
Except not.
My dad keeps telling me it takes time to reset and it has only been two months, but I spend an unhealthy amount of energy worrying.
About everything.
Am I going to try to get a job? Should I try and pursue a Master's degree?
How am I going to provide a home for my kids all on my own?
And not the ghetto apartments they are used to.
Breathe.
So instead of doing all that, I am going to eat some popcorn lunch and pull out my GRE study guide.
Because that is what I should be doing.
Or I will watch a movie.
And avoid my life.
Cheers to a better day tomorrow.

p.s. Sorry for the dismal rant. And those pictures. Good grief.