Date #1

So I went on a date.
A real one.
It was the first one I have gone on in 13.5 years.
The last time I went on a date, Facebook, American Idol, iPods, and Justin Bieber did not exist.
Back then, everyone was getting lower-back tattoos and wearing chokers.
You could still walk freely through the airport and greet people directly at their landing gate.
It was a weird time.
Anyway, things are different now.
I am different now.
I am older (but in my opinion much better ... my eyebrows were unnerving circa 2002).
I have a lot of children.
And I am more comfortable in my own skin.
And this, consequently, is why I most likely scared my date.
He was very friendly.
He was cute.
He had nice teeth.
He was quiet. (I was not quiet.)
And was attentive.
He also bowled much better than I did.
Although, truth be told, I bowled like a granny and rightly deserved to lose.
It was fun to go out.
It helped me to realize that I am ready for this.
I want to date now.
I am done being a spinster at home darning socks and pulling out stray chin hairs.
It is time to get back in the game.
The only problem is that I seem to be the only one looking for a date in the entire thriving metropolis that is Eugene.
So here's where I shamelessly throw out a pathetic plea to all my peeps (we used this word back when I was dating, in the new millennium) to send all eligible bachelors, that are looking for someone awesome to date, my way.
What? You live in Utah? Colorado?
That's okay.
I am pretty sure social media was invented exclusively to bring strangers together.
I swear to Oprah.
Anyway, this post is getting very dumb and as soon as I publish it, I will accept my date's friend request and he will see what a lunatic I really am.
And then I will be back to wearing nipple-high pants, eating butterscotch candy, and putting doilies under all of my lamps.
Like an old maid.