Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Christmas Adam and Christmas Eve

So when I get back from practice at 10:30 at night, I often find myself wired for the next three hours or so.
It blows.
I need to go to sleep because tomorrow is fast approaching and I still haven't recovered from today.
But I can't because I was effing exercising at bedtime.
It takes me forever to unwind.
So naturally, I decide it is the perfect time to file some government paperwork.
And then organize all the pictures I took over Christmas.
And watch a cooking show.
Then assemble a snack.
Also, I haven't blogged in a while.
So despite the fact that it is well past midnight and my kids will be waking up at dawn, I think I will write a lengthy entry about all the activities we crammed in before Christmas (which in my book is actually the best part of the holidays; if you think about it, Christmas morning itself is somewhat anticlimactic because it is over in a flourish and then you have 7,000 slivers of wrapping paper to clean up and nothing to look forward to. It's a drag and a half.)
Anyway, let me just clean the kitchen real quick.
Okay, I am back and I am serious about writing this post.
And overwhelming you with a lot of pictures that will most likely bore you to tears.
Because they are all different versions of the same picture.
You're welcome.
Fo' real.
^^ Sporting their Christmas threads for church. My dad has scary eyes. ^^
^^ Nearly all the cousins on the Beard side (minus baby Evelyn — who is 5 months old and hates me) preparing for their dessert on the kitchen floor. We made them eat it here, all crammed together, so we could contain the mess. ^^
And now on to the aforementioned repeats.
But, in my defense, there wasn't a single picture taken of us looking in the same direction.
So I decided to include them all.
That, and it has become harder and harder to get all the original Beard kids together in the same room long enough for a picture.
Or 80.
^^ Me (duh), my youngest brother Brady, Britney the Beautiful, and Danger Bryce. ^^
^^ I wish Brady were smiling bigger so you could see that collectively we have the biggest teeth any family ever had. Including horse families. ^^
^^ My siblings are so attractive. Meanwhile, I look preggo. Lovely. ^^
^^ I assure you I am not. That would be physically impossible at this point in time. TMI? ^^
You should have seen the mass chaos that was happening just outside of this frame.
Two thousand kids all crying at once and clamoring for our attention.
^^ And with my Dad, the creator. I'm gross. ^^
And then on Christmas Adam (you know the night before Christmas Eve — because Adam came before Eve ...) the kids and I decorated a gingerbread house and drove around in our jammies looking at Christmas lights.
Not at the same time.
It was quite magical, if I do say so myself (which I absolutely do because I orchestrated it single-handedly and it went off without a hitch).
My Dad and Heather were in California visiting family so it was just the four of us.
Which proved to be perfect and a little sad at the same time.
^^ Another picture without a funny caption because I am getting tired. ^^
^^ This was the best one. It is getting so late. I am reaching a point where it may become necessary to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks in order to finish. ^^
^^ Last one! Making chocolate-dipped pretzels for Santa on Christmas Eve. Exercise-induced frenzy wearing off ..... ^^
I will be back to finish up my Christmas trilogy ... soon.
And a Happy New Year!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Marry Christmas!

Okay, everyone drop everything (even if it is a baby) and listen to me.
I am shooting out a quick post on pre-pre-Christmas happenings, and then I intend to type up a proper entry regarding actual introductory Christmas proceedings once I can sort out all the pictures.
Then I will most likely bore you with a real-time Christmas report, followed by a post Christmas run-down.
So you can either read all my droning essays (there will be at least three) or I can come to your house and slap you in the face with a fish.
You want to hear all about our Christmas tree and my holiday Craigslist score?
Only if you insist.
Here is our tree:
^^ Yes, there is also a horse head on the wall. Because what would a home be without a horse head on the wall? ^^
It is short, yet very symmetrical.
We bought it from a 17-year-old boy scout with very silky-looking hair and a slight lisp.
He was pretty much the cutest thing ever.
And he took his tree-selling responsibilities very seriously.
"Are you looking for something sturdy with hardy branches for heavier ornaments? Or do you want something aromatic that will fill your house with a pine-y scent?" he asked.
These were good questions.
I apparently hadn't given this decision the appropriate amount of thought.
Suddenly picking a tree became very complicated.
But after pacing the tree lot and stroking my beard looking at every variety/option, I settled on the perfect one.
And after we got it decorated, we capped it with a pirate hook.
^^ A close up of our festive tree-topper. Because when one doesn't own a sparkly star, one must misspell "Merry Christmas" and tape it to your brother's dress-up pirate hook. Now the horse head isn't looking so strange, eh? #parentingwin #newChristmastradition. ^^
And lastly, this has nothing to do with Christmas but may be the most important antidote included in this little present of a post.
I found these vintage twin bamboo Hollywood Regency-style headboards on Craigslist.
I was actually looking for a king-sized piece, but put side-by-side these will be magnificent.
I was thinking I wanted something new; something different from what Scott and I shared.
Listen to me.
Trying to justify my hoarding.
^^ They are so beautiful I may just snuggle up right here in the garage with them sans mattress. ^^
Happy pre-Christmas!
Stay tuned for my story about how all the original Beard children showed up to the same place, at the same time, with all the the offspring they had created and pure pandemonium reigned.
It was holiday magic!

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Ryan's baptism

I intended to share Ryan's baptism several weeks ago but got preoccupied while binge-watching seasons one through five of Gilmore Girls;
And then, on an unrelated note, I was also busy being excessively emotional and overly sentimental when confronted with the upcoming holiday.
All the cute Christmas cards (which I LOVE getting, fyi) remind me that our card is missing a key player and then all the Christmas lights remind me of the house that we almost bought and it doesn't make any sense except that it does.
Oh, and Micah has given up pooping altogether, which is causing tears and anxiety.
And he is feeling upset, also.
So, as you can see, I have had no time to write.
But then I remembered my commitment — to myself and no one else — that I write even when I am feeling craptastic ... and if I break that commitment, than the whole handshake I gave myself will be for nothing.
So, even though I am feeling unmotivated and just want to turn off the T.V. and go to bed only to turn on my iPad and watch another episode of GG (crossing my fingers Lorelai and Luke reconcile) I am going to make myself journal until my fingers bleed.
That, or I will quickly detail Ryan's special day and then "go to bed."
And when I say "go to bed" I don't, unfortunately, mean anything dirty but am really hinting that I will watch Netflix until my eyes burn.
And now I realize that quotation marks are probably unnecessary if I am going to spell it out with a lengthy explanation.
This is what happens when I forget how to write.
So ... Ryan's baptism was very nice.
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that baptism is performed for the remission of sins and to become a full-fledged member of the church.
We also believe that it can only occur after the age of accountability, which is defined as eight years old.
We believe it is a choice one must make when they are old enough to understand the implications of the commitment.
Ryan asked that her Papa (my dad) participate in the ordinance in lieu of Scott.
I am proud of the decision she made but was sad that Scott wasn't there.
In my head I pictured him outside the window looking in.
Which, I suppose, is sort of a depressing thought.
And this is where I stop writing any more words and let the pictures do their thang:
^^ No this picture was not taken at a prison, which one might surmise by looking at the slammer-esque backdrop. Our church also does not believe in unnecessary adornment on the walls. Obviously. ^^
^^ Ryan and Annie wanted to be baptized together (one right after the other) because they are, and I quote, "BFF cousins." ^^