Tuesday, November 25, 2014

A stuffing recipe that will blow your mind

To the vulgar, lumpy, pear-shaped woman with the offensively bright, electric-blue page-boy haircut and the sourest expression plastered across her dumb face: I want to say, "Brava!"
As you were huffing up and down the aisles at WinCo muttering abusive, dimwitted comments about how "unbelievable and irresponsible" my sister and I were acting by allowing our small children to follow unassumingly behind us, giggling, as we pushed our carts around the store collecting food for our Thanksgiving dinner, you reminded me that no matter how hard my life is, it is better to keep trying and flailing and laughing than to allow myself to become a gross, bitter, impudent woman who, instead of enjoying the blessings she does have (health, food, the complexion to pull off teal strands), chooses instead to be resentful and bellow at two young mothers to "leash" their kids instead of letting them "run reckless around the store, getting in everyone's way."
I say, if you are that indignant about women daring to bring their children in public without being tethered than you must be in worse shape than I.
Please, don't ever reproduce.
Also, your asinine remarks were then promptly rebutted by a very kind, older gentleman who apologized in your behalf for being an obscene, inappropriate ass-face.
He didn't actually say ass-face.
But I am sure he wanted to.
We all thought you were an ass-face.
Speaking of which, I have a holiday recipe for you.
I really love Thanksgiving and all the time I get to spend in the kitchen with my sister creating the most delicious meal.
And one of my favorite sides is homemade stuffing.
This is not to be confused with the spongy, icky stove-top variety (unless you like that kind, than three cheers for you).
It is hearty and savory and will change your life.

Thanksgiving Stuffing
3/4 cup butter, melted*
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 large celery stalks, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 lb. spicy pork sausage, crumbled and cooked
1/2 cup dried cranberries
2-3 apples, cored and chopped
9 cups soft bread cubes = 1 loaf of french bread
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon sage
1/4 teaspoon pepper

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees
2. Saute celery and onion in olive oil on medium-high heat for 6 to 8 minutes until tender.
3. Remove veggies and set aside.
4. Break apart and cook sausage until no longer pink.
5. Gently toss celery mixture, butter and remaining ingredients with bread cubes until evenly coated.
6. Grease a 13 x 9 baking dish. Arrange stuffing in dish then cover with aluminum foil. Bake for 30 minutes covered and then remove foil and bake for an additional 15 minutes.
* Instead of using all butter, sometimes I use 1/2 cup chicken stock to moisten the stuffing. Or you can do a combination of the two.

Happy Thanksgibbing Back!
p.s. I will be back with a full recap on Ryan's special baptism day. She looked so beautiful.


  1. You are the best and yay for sisters! I love you and your fabulous attitude!

  2. SOooooooooooo, I definitely made your mom's stuffing! It was everything you promised and it reminded me of your mom always in the kitchen when we were little. I made a few small adjustments: I can't stand pieces of onion or celery in soft foods like that, my mom scarred me as a youngster by adding them to nearly every dish she made. Seriously. It was an obsession. Anyway, I put them in the food processor before putting them in the olive oil in the skillet. Also, I happened to already have a bag a frozen cranberries so I set some out on the stove to defrost while I cooked and then I lightly chopped them with the food processor before adding to the stuffing mix. I sort of wish I had done the same with the apples because, again, I'm weird about chunks of fruit in my bread. We all have our own little eccentrities, I suppose. And I definitely took your suggestion, and used both the butter and the chicken stock.

    I am addicted. Seriously. Without exaggeration. It's all I want to eat..... In return I would like to recommend you try making stuffing & eggs with your leftovers. When we visited Tom's grandparents last Christmas in Ohio, Pop got me hooked on this easy little dish. I have no idea how I lived without it for so long and I've been craving ever since. You just beat some eggs, throw 'em in a skillet and them add some stuffing and top with a little cheddar cheese. Maybe you already know this trick and were holding out???? If not, try it immediately. Like, right now.

    I can't thank you enough. Seriously. I hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving together! I'm sure the crabby woman was easily forgotten with all the joy big family get togethers bring.

    Sending you lots of Love,