Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Happy birthday to my Lion

^^ This is a look I receive often. ^^
Ryan likes to hear the story of her birth.
I begin by saying that I was über fat and gained the most weight growing her, which resulted in the biggest chipmunk cheeks this side of a chipmunk.
My contractions started around 4 o'clock in the afternoon, which I remember distinctly because they interrupted my first viewing of Oprah since I had started my maternity leave.
They were slightly uncomfortable at first, building (as they do) throughout the evening until I found myself writhing in pain on the hallway floor around 1 a.m. barking at Scott to "STOP SLEEPING AND BEING GENERALLY  RELAXED!" and gather any last-minute items needed for my hospital stay.
After strongly insisting that my contractions were, in fact, close enough together, Scott and I left for the hospital, swinging by Britney's to pick her up around 2 in the morning.
Upon arriving at the hospital I was so delirious with pain and naivety, that my hubs and sister checked me in and wheeled me to the maternity wing before I could even grasp the enormity of what was happening.
I was going to be a mother! Squeee!
And even more immediately satisfying was the reality that I would no longer be pregnant! Huzzah!
I got situated in my indecent backless gown as I doubled over in gasping spasms while my cramping continued to escalate beyond a threshold I was unaware existed.
It was shocking how painful labor was!
I mean, duh, you are pushing a human out of your body, but still.
I had refused any birthing classes because, knowing my anxious self, I wanted to remain blissfully ignorant about the hurt I was facing for as long as possible.
Well, now that I was in the throes of childbirth I was rethinking my whole tactic.
What the H was going on?
When would this be over?
Where were the drugs?
Why would anyone do this more than once?
And then my Savior appeared. He was wearing scrubs. And came armed with a long needle in his hand.
And he was very handsome.
Not only was my anesthesiologist hot, he was getting a pretty good look at my fleshy, flabby full moon. Gross.
But soon enough, none of that mattered ... in fact nothing mattered anymore because the convulsions stopped and the pain slackened.
I could breathe again, and even sleep.
I dozed on and off for the remainder of the night/morning in a drug-induced haze until around 9 or 10 a.m. when the pressure began to mount.
It was time to get down to business. I needed to push.
I knew it even though I had never done it before.
Isn't that incredible? You just know.
Anyway, my water broke (all over my doctor's face. Barf. Like it actually sprayed into his mouth — you're welcome) and then I pushed twice and out she popped.
Scott was concerned that her head came to a point (which is normal) and her face was pinched like a squishy-faced pug (which is also normal) but all I saw was the prettiest baby.
She was SO perfect.
A tiny nose, big, gray eyes, pouty, full lips, and wavy fuzz for hair.
Scott cried and then ran to the gift shop and promptly appeared with a stuffed kangaroo that he proudly squeezed into her crib.
I felt so relieved and complete and content.
Ryan is the smartest, most helpful, timid, stubborn, sensitive, persistent, unique girl.
I kinda love that she is obsessed with reading and roller skating and playing the recorder.
She is unrelenting and quirky.
She has a loud laugh and a zillion freckles.
She saves everything.
She is a good eater but is also a night owl and never wants to go to sleep.
She savors treats by eating them really slowly, so that they last as long as possible.
I am grateful for our relationship and that we genuinely get along.
I like her and know that we will continue to be the best of friends.
I love her little personality and am so blessed to be her mommy.
Happiest birthday to my Lion!
^^ Eight years old! ^^


  1. Ryan has always been such a darling girl. Her freckles are my favorite. Also, your birth story is awesome. I love that you didn't want birthing classes and that your water broke on/in your Dr's face. Hilarious. Happy birthday, Ryan! And Happy 8 years of being an amazing mom, Brianne!

  2. What a beautiful story for a beautiful girl. Happy Birthday sweet Ryan! We miss you!!!

  3. Are we tooo late? HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!!!!