Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Me and my thoughts

My kids are in Seattle this week.
My in-laws, Scott's parents, have generously taken them for a few days so that I can recover my sanity rest.
As I have mentioned in possibly every single post previous to this one, I dislike being a single parent.
It is exhausting.
Well, parenting in general is exhausting, but doing it alone is as awful as growing out your hair from looking like Johnny on the Karate Kid.
It requires patience, a sense of humor, and a willingness to endure a lot of ugly.
I should know.
Growing my hair out is what I will be concentrating on for the next nine to twelve months.
And also parenting.
Well, I will focus on parenting longer than that.
^^ An actual picture of my hair. Hot. ^^
Anyway, my point is that I like to whine about how hard my life is now that I am flying solo.
And my hair is frightful.
That is why my posts have been so sporadic (my sucky attitude, not my horrendous hair).
And lest you think you are experiencing déjá vu, you aren't.
I have, in fact, already whined about this topic recently.
About how I feel I have nothing positive to say because I am spiraling.
I may have even said to my sister recently that, "My life is like hell."
Which might have been an exaggeration.
But it felt very accurate at the time; the time being four days ago.
I am getting very good at feeling sorry for myself.
I practice it daily.
I think maybe if I started working, I would feel like I was propelling my life in a forward direction and inching toward independence.
Which is the goal.
I had a priesthood blessing (which, in the LDS church, are prayers given by authority from God for healing, comfort, and encouragement) a short while ago that offered me assurance that God had not forgotten my struggles and I would not have to live my life alone.
I try to think of that when I want to, say, let myself go completely, stop showering, and then go out in public smelling like a Yeti.
I try to remember that my life has purpose and will continue to get sunnier.
And that it could be so much worse.
And that no one likes a Yeti.
p.s. Don't anyone go and get the wrong idea that this post was a cry for help.
I am not going to off myself.
I am just puttin' it out there.
All raw and shite.
p.p.s. I will try an muster up a more cheerful post next time.
p.p.s.s. If anyone knows of a great job, that say a single mother with a college degree could take, while still maintaining her dignity, just let me know, and I will ....uh ... pass it along.


  1. Being a single parent is totally the worst!! I remember feeling the same things you are feeling. It WILL get better!! I'm positive that God has a plan for you. Just hang in there!!!

  2. I'm sorry things suck! At least you're getting a parenting break. That's nice. Growing hair out is pretty painful. I have done it many times, a few of which were from shaving my head. It'll be so cute, though. I think about you all the time. Things will get easier. I promise.