Thursday, October 9, 2014

Sometimes I ...

I have been up since the crack of dawn running errands all over the damned place, getting a haircut (nothing major, just needed the ole' mullet trimmed), visiting with some riotous ladies from church, going on a jog (at a snail's much slower pet snail's pace), helping a friend organize a closet, then going home and sorting through MY closet, washing peed-in underpants, and switching out my children's summer wardrobe for their fall clothes.
And now I have the biggest headache and feel generally craptastic.
So this post will probably suck.
How's that for an enticing hook?
And I am feeding my kids Cookie Crisp for dinner.
In front of the movie, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure."
Go me.
So on that embarrassing note, I will forge ahead with my previously compiled list of things that I sometimes do.
Which is possibly more humiliating than admitting that we own the movie, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure."  

Sometimes I ... wear my six-year-old like a backpack because as I was cleaning out said closet I found a baby-wearing contraption and tested it out on ALL of my non-babies.
Good times.
^^ Yes. Ezra has a mustache and I have no boobs. It is as if our maturation rates have been swapped. ^^
Sometimes I ... time myself to see how fast I can unload the dishwasher.
Today I did it in 2 minutes and 46 seconds.

Sometimes I ... put Micah back into diapers.
And by sometimes, I mean every day because if I have to wash out one more pair of soiled briefs I may just throw myself into moving traffic.

Sometimes I ...  start planning my nap the previous night. "If I get up early, work out, finish my housework, attend the jog-a-thon, throw dinner in the crockpot, and put Micah down, maybe I can sneak in a little siesta ..."

Sometimes I ... shower and "get ready" 30 minutes before everyone gets home in order to look "productive" and less like a "lazy piece of crap."
They will never know I just changed out of my neon tribal leggings. (Except now they do.)

Sometimes I ... go running sans glasses and think I see a fellow jogger in the distance only to find out it is a trashcan instead. I have made a habit of waving/nodding to trees, mailboxes, and parked cars until I am approximately two feet away and can vaguely make them out.

Sometimes I ... think back to what my life looked like one year ago.
And think about how one's whole life trajectory can careen off its previous course in the blink of an eye.
And then I hope that it will continue to evolve in a way that is unexpected but with a possible upswing?

Well, lovelies, I have got to lay down.
My head is pounding and I have heard "I know you are but what am I," one too many times.
I am ashamed that I suggested that flick.


  1. I love your hair! It's looking super cute. You are nailing it. I hope your headache goes away. That's the worst.

  2. I couldn't help but laugh about the diapering Micah. Potty training is rotten. We are working on that right now with Kinsley. We've been doing it for over two months now and she still has accidents all the time. I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong because none of the other kids took this long to fully get it. Also I really like your hair in this picture it kind of has a 1920s feel to it.

  3. Sometimes i ... Really wish that you lived closer. I think we would would still be as close as we were when we were 9 and lived 2 doors away. And I think we would make excellent partners in crime.

  4. And sometimes you just crack me up! Thanks for the funny read.

  5. I've been reading your stuff for a while after a mutual FB friend "liked" your link and I have to say that you are DELIGHTFUL and I am not ashamed to admit that not only do I love that Pee Wee movie, I even have old tapes of Pee Wee's Playhouse. ...The only problem with that Saturday morning special is that friend, Mrs. Yvonne, who's just a horny lady wanting screen time. hmmm... rethinking my video choices...

  6. Let's go running sometime. I can guide you just like I did your mother. She was the same way. Love that.