Wednesday, April 16, 2014

That girl

I am that girl.
You know, the sister of your cousin's friend that has the sad, sad story.
The one you bring up when you hear another sad story.
And you are so happy it is her and not you.
Not in a mean way.
Just relieved that you have your hardships and not the ones she has.
It's cool.
I'm okay to be that girl.
I would rather be that girl than have someone else I know be her.
And maybe my quota of heartache will be met.
And if not, maybe my heart will be tougher.
Like a boxer who gets beat-up and pushed down but realizes that such is the nature of boxing and stands back up and squares his shoulders, ready for the next swing.
Or maybe squaring one's shoulders in boxing makes you more vulnerable and you don't do that.
Either way, I want you to tell people about my situation.
Go ahead, bring me up.
And then tell them about this blog.
Because maybe something I write here can make someone else feel better.
Maybe something will resonate with them, will help them to know that there are other people just like them.
Because I may not know what direction I am going to take my life;
Or even what master's program to pursue.
But I know how to write.
So that is what I am doing every. damn. day.
I know I want to grow from this.
And I want to share my experiences with those it could help.
So many people have stood by me and held me up when I felt too tired/scared/sad to stand.
This might be one small way to pay it forward.
That's a thing right?

p.s. Are you growing tired of my sob story? Me too.
I realize that not only is this a place of therapy and honesty, but should also be a place of hope.
And I hope to include more hope.
p.p.s In other news I am trying to learn how to use my fancy new camera.
And I am killing it. See below.

^^ Self-timer probably shouldn't be complicated. To other people. Except maybe to babies.
That and my legs look hyper-extended. And beefy. #rollerderby4life ^^

^^ Here we're a little closer. At least you can see my entire torso.
And my pensive gaze. I would be a great male model. ^^

^^ Nailed it. Except that I am scowling at Micah who has just screamed, and
I quote, "Mama, you crazy!" Nice. ^^
p.p.s.s. I have an amazing piece of mid-century furniture that I have been working on.
It turned out pretty great.
Considering it was a piecer.
I'll show it off tomorrow.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. you are cracking me up with the photos

  3. You are hilarious and pretty and skinny. I love that you do roller derby. You're so hardcore!

  4. I love reading this. It's hard though. You are strong and amazing! And I miss you. I am going to pass your blog on...I know others can draw strength from your strength. I know I do.

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  6. You should write books. Children's books. Books for teen girls. Books for women-who-need-to-be-slapped-into-reality. I'd be first in line at your book signing at Powell's.